Is Trump Channeling His Inner Dixie Chick?

Bullying.  Hypocrisy.  Verbal Assault.  Sexual Aggression.  Victimizing a Victim.  What do all these things have in common?  They are all lessons our country is modeling to our youth.  Not just through movies,  music or video games……  but through the world of politics. 

It used to be that teachers could assign watching presidential debates and news programs as a means of teaching about government and how our country works.  I guess you could say kids who tune in are still learning those things.  But unfortunately it is teaching all the things our country and government shouldn’t do and shouldn’t stand for. 

I, like most of you, tuned in to watch the presidential debates.  And most evenings I watch the news recap of the day so have seen the 2005 Donald Trump and Billy Bush bro-fest from Access Hollywood. 

Shut Up and Sing

I  also recently viewed a documentary on the Dixie Chicks called  “Shut Up and Sing”  about the 2003 repercussions after an opinion their singer shared at one of their concerts just prior to the war in Iraq. 

More than anything,  I was taken back by how judgmental and hypocritically self-righteous some people can be in certain situations against other people. 

I am not writing this to further push an agenda of negativity since there’s enough of that going around already,  but rather as an observation.  To be one voice that reminds folks to take a step back before they throw stones from glass houses.

Let me point out that I’m not an expert on political history so am admitting that there are multiple alternate views of what happened when and who said what.  This is just one opinion from an average American woman in suburbia, who knows an average amount about politics by watching and reading an average amount of media.  I am not democrat or republican.  I consider myself an Independent who is both “for” and “against” issues on both sides of the aisle.  But for the record,  I am the demographic who could swing this election in either direction.  Just saying……

In 2003 the Dixie Chicks set out on their aptly named “On Top of The World” tour.   They were one of the most financially successful and award winning recording artists at that time. 

Then on March tenth at a London concert, nine days before President Bush sent our United States troops to invade Iraq,  Natalie Maines uttered the words that would change their careers and lives forever.  During her introduction to their song  “Travelin’ Soldier” she told the audience  “We don’t want this war, this violence.”  She then went on to say “and we’re ashamed that the President of the United States is from Texas.” 

Given that a large portion of southern country music fans happen to also be conservative and republicans,  these became fighting words.  Their return to the U.S. was met with mob destruction and burnings of their CDs,  boycotts of their music by country radio for fear of public backlash, and even death threats by “fans”.

This wasn’t just the length of one news cycle.  And it wasn’t just that public opinion had merely moved on to other musical favorites.  Even two years later, as they embarked out in support of their next album, they needed added security at shows to deal with the mass threats of violence against these women who had merely used their “freedom of speech” to verbalize an opinion.

At that time, there was a conservative mentality that it was anti-American to be against this war.  No shades of gray for debating it’s complex multiple layers.  Just black and white thinking that if you weren’t in support of going to war, then you must be on the side of our enemies, and therefore be the enemy.

Connecting To His Inner Dixie Chick

Fast forward to current day.  Donald Trump, at every chance to get in a soundbite, proclaims that he was against this same war in Iraq.  Interesting, right?  The figurehead of that same republican party who led that 2003 witch hunt against the Dixie Chicks now siding with what the they had been saying all along.  You don’t see that in his campaign ads.

In the words of those Dixie Chicks in their come-back song “I’m Not Ready To Make Nice”,  when pressured that, if they just publicly apologized to the man they spoke out against,  people would stop threatening them:

And how in the world  – Can the words that I said
Send somebody so over the edge
That they’d write me a letter  – Saying that I better
Shut up and sing  Or my life will be over?

Initially, I liked the idea of a successful business person bringing fresh eyes to this ultimate managerial position and try to improve our economy in the same way other successful CEOs are brought into companies to shake it up until the bottom line flourishes.

However, as a culture that has taken such a long time to finally come such a long way toward equal respect for people of any gender, age, religious belief, race, physical or mental special need, and sexual orientation being it’s country’s generally accepted thinking, wouldn’t it be hypocritical for us to then appoint someone who has disparaged each of those demographics to represent us in the highest office of our land? 

And if we took a stance saying that all of those things don’t matter as much as what he potentially could economically do for our country,  aren’t we accepting and promoting an “anything goes” mentality as long as someone can find a way to rationalize some “greater good” that person could someday potentially achieve?

Even when we wanted to see the positive in our nominee, what we have more realistically seen is a thin-skinned narcissist who pivots to offensive retaliation anytime someone speaks out with an opinion against his behavior.  You see three a.m. tweets calling people “losers”.  You see him bully opponents and even threaten one with jail time.  You see him degrade others and even brag about things that would be grounds for sexual harassment in any other workplace.   You see him model every trait that our representative face to the rest of the world should not embody.

Locker Room Talk and Rape Culture

In fact, I just saw a segment on the news this morning about rape culture on college campuses.  Part of it’s focus was on schools hesitating to prosecute or expel alleged perpetrators if they happen to be successful on their sports teams.  In an effort to keep individuals who could potentially bring their teams victory, which brings more interest and money to their establishment,  are some  schools processing alleged charges from the perspective of some ill-conceived potential future “greater good” for their school?

Wouldn’t voting for someone who models and perpetuates the acceptance of an attitude toward woman that leads to their being belittled, bullied, and subjected to verbal and sexual inappropriate behavior not be a good thing?  Doesn’t that perpetuate the base mentality this rape culture grows out of if  someone at the top level of our government is telling guys it’s okay to talk about and behave like that with women because it’s “just locker room talk”?

And doesn’t it re-victimize a victim if we, as a society, find ways to transfer some level of blame from a perpetrator to a victim, in order to further someone’s “greater good” agenda? 

Two Wrongs Don’t Make a Right

Take for example Hillary Clinton.  Now don’t get me wrong.  This is not a pro-Hillary article.  She has her own list of issues, it’s just that Trump’s push my buttons more.  But this is not meant to be a political article.  It is merely an observation about what is deemed to be acceptable  behavior in our country.

Part of Mr. Trump’s plan to throw Hillary off her game in the second debate was to invite, and seat front row, a number of woman who claimed that her husband, Bill Clinton, sexually harassed them or had affairs with them during his own political career.  His rationale was that his own 2005 leaked tape was “only words”,  versus Bill Clinton’s actual actions.  He followed by saying that Hillary “went after” these woman while defending her husband.

Where to start…..  First, what Bill Clinton did was wrong.  I don’t know to what extent each of these things happened, I wasn’t there, but when that many women come forward, you have probably  done something inappropriate.  However two wrongs don’t make a right.  It’s not okay for Trump to sexually harass women just because another president did.

Second, there are interview clips showing Mr. Trump saying quite negative things about these very women and those allegations back when these things first happened.  What this says to me is that he isn’t showcasing these women because he feels they were wronged.  He is using them and their past experiences for his own agenda.  And that “his opinion” of  “the facts”  flip-flops depending on his end game at any given time.  (I know Hillary flips and flops too.  We all have the right to change our opinions over time, and even to modify our stance to compromise with others to accomplish goals.  But most of us don’t pivot between “loser” and “love” as fluidly as Mr. Trump.)

Third,  Bill Clinton is not currently running for office.  Hillary is.  She was the wife of someone who lied to her, cheated on her, and humiliated her in front of an entire nation.  A little empathy people.  Re-victimizing a victim is just wrong.

I think it’s safe to say  she was vehemently trying to protect the man she was married to and believed at that time was innocent (or at least wanted to believe).   She shouldn’t be faulted for being lied to.  And once she did learn the truth about his infidelity, who wouldn’t have negative feelings about someone you just found out had an affair with your spouse?  You will have equal animosity for your partner  too.  But I think there would be enough justifiable bad blood toward both of the two who tangoed to to go around.

Couldn’t we see it this way.  Here is someone who was publicly living through a personal nightmare, but had the woman balls to still face the world every day in her duties as mother, first lady, and soon after senator.  And even after she later lost a run for president in 2008, kept those lady balls around to give secretary of state her all.  She’s not perfect.  But I think she gets points for that.

The Bro-Bus

Where was Mr. Trump at that time?  He was out verbally and sexually harassing women who had welcomed him as a guest into their place of work.  I’m sure Access Hollywood and Days of Our Lives didn’t agree to him sharing a verbally and sexually  aggressive pep talk before he got off his alpha-man bus “because “when you’re a star”  “you can do anything”. 

And he found time to verbally shame a Miss America for her weight.  And mock people with disabilities.  And attempt to intimidate female interviewers and debate moderators.  

Oh, let’s not forget verbally belittling and objectifying women on his “Apprentice” show.   Remember in 2010 when he was hyper-focused on a female guest country singer’s skin which he thought “sucked” and that “she needed some serious f***ing dermatology”? 

And how about the female wrestler on the third season of  “Celebrity Apprentice” who he fired for her locker room talk.   Yes, that’s right. I am not kidding.   After a comment she made about a male participant stinking up the girls’ bathroom, his rationale for this person not being fit to continue on any longer was “This is my boardroom.  It’s not a locker room” so “You’re fired.”   Hmmm………   Can we all say “double standard”?  That was also the same woman he told, in that same boardroom, that she should have her mole removed since it was “an imperfection”.

Instigation and Escalation

And what about the accomplices in male mob psychology?  Let’s talk Billy Bush.  Some of you may remember reading my article “Ratings Vampires Invade Rio“ about the 2016 Olympics, Billy Bush, and Ryan Lochte.  Patterns of behavior.  Let’s call him our instigator-in-chief.

Billy Bush,  who overheard  Ryan Lochte privately telling a story to his friends and then egged him on to retell it on the spot in front of those same friends so his cameraman could film it.  A good portion of Lochte’s story was true.  Exaggerated, but so what, who hasn’t ever exaggerated a story to their buddies before?  And even in the full story, he wasn’t hurting anyone,  bullying anyone or assaulting anyone.  I guess you could say “it was just locker room talk”,  couldn’t you?

Some people feel bad for Bush being “indefinitely suspended” from his new “Today” show gig.  The same promotion he landed thanks to that  “breaking news” of his Lochte expose.    I call it karma.

Maybe the universe didn’t like it when he just giggled and echoed Trump’s sentiments on that bus, which probably escalated the whole male bravado thing they had going on.  Or maybe the universe didn’t take kindly to his pimping hugs for Trump and “the Bushy” from those same woman who they had just lewdly ogled. 

Maybe we’d all be a little better behaved if we realized there was such a short karmic leash on us. 

To give him the benefit of the doubt, maybe he was just caught up in the moment and the peer pressure to be “one of the guys” was too overwhelming for him not to join in.  But that is the exact scenario rape culture feeds off of.  That is how so many circumstances that put women in uncomfortable situations begin.  With one arrogant alpha and sheep that follow his lead because they don’t know how to be appropriate in an inappropriate situation. 

Why Do I Even Care?

But I digress.  In the words of those DIxie Chicks,  whose stance against the war Trump wants us all to know he also held, even though no one would publicly stand beside them when it was the less popular view and blanketing the media:

“I’m not ready to make nice,  I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell, and I don’t have time To go ’round and ’round and ’round
It’s too late to make it right, (you) probably wouldn’t if (you) could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell, Can’t bring myself to do what it is You think I should”

Why is this firing me up?  I’m not a political junkie.  I’m definitely not a social media troll just pointing out negative things just to create controversy.  Actually,  I am a shy person who avoids conflict as much as humanly possible.  So why do I even care?  Maybe my reaction to all of this is because it has struck a nerve.

Words Actually Can Hurt You

Maybe, as women, we are more acutely aware of the wrong-ness of this presidential hopeful’s words because, as women, we have all experienced first hand some self-appointed alpha trying to intimidate, condescend, and/or objectify us.  And we’ve all felt we couldn’t speak up for ourselves at some point in our lives because of it.  

Unlike what the children’s song tried to tell us, words actually can hurt you.  They can hurt the people they’re aimed at and they can hurt the society that becomes desensitized to hearing them.   So no, we are not over-reacting, and yes, it really is that rampant. 

For me,  I think I just convinced myself who I am NOT voting for in the election….. 

You don’t have to agree. And I respect your opinion, whatever it might be.  That’s what’s supposed to be the beauty of this country…..   we all have the freedom to have opinions, even if they differ, yet still find a way to respect each other and live together united as one country.  Let’s try it…..  I bet we’ll all like it.